Dec 27

Here’s a powerful song by Edith Piaf. My favourite part…

“Shall I wait by the grave / For my lost lover’s kiss? / Stop the bell! Stop the bell!! / I’ve no tears left to cry / Must I stay here in hell? / Lord above, let me die…”

Edith Piaf, 1956

No more smiles, no more tears
No more prayers, no more fears
Nothing left, why go on
When your lover is gone
Shout with one
Ring the bells
Throughout the towns
And the farms
Will the shouts and the bells
Bring him back to my arms
Must each man go to war
Evermore, evermore
While some lone woman stands
Empty heart, empty hands
When the time came to part
And he kissed me goodbye
From the depths of my heart
Came a great lonely cry:

Heaven have mercy!
Heaven have mercy!

Miners came
They carved his name
Upon a cross…
I remember the dance
Where we first fell in love
How we whirled ’round and ’round
While the stars danced above
We would walk by the shore
Watch the ships sail away
Lovers need nothing more
Just a new dream each day
So we dreamed of a home
With a garden so fine
And a son with his eyes
And a nose just like mine
Now it’s done, why be brave?
Why should I live like this?
Shall I wait by the grave
For my lost lover’s kiss?

Stop the bell! Stop the bell!!
I’ve no tears left to cry
Must I stay here in hell?
Lord above, let me die…

Heaven have mercy!
Heaven have mercy!
Heaven have mercy!

Nov 02

Josh’s new song.

By The Way, I Love You

Im at the point where I dont know what to do or say
But I will say this anyway
You know youre making a mistake

Ill let this go, its a risk you have to take
but im not quitting anyways
I will marry you someday

I called and your boyfriend answered
I said let me speak to my girl
He said sorry now shes my girl

I said do you know what you are messing with
Im in love and I will never quit
and then he tried to say with power
well your girl is in my shower
Then he spit words like homies do
He screamed i aint no punk foo
half of north kansas is my crew…half of north kansas is my crew
thats not the verbiage youre into…thats not the verbiage your into

…by the way….i love you.

Im at the point where I dont know what to do or say
But I still called you anyways
Your perfect voice just made my day

I let you know you are a risk I have to take
Losing you is a mistake
That I will not make.

You said he treats you like a queen
Did you forget that I am your king?
I rock the music and I will sing

Will he rap while you lie on his shoulder?
Spitting rhymes when you get older
or will you sleep to my guitar
singing songs of who we are
and make love through the night hours
oh my gah did my music just go to far?
lets make love through the night hours
oh my lyrics went to far

….by the way….i love you.

Ill stop calling all the time but no matter how hard you try
I will always be on your mind

Im at the point where I dont know what to do or say
But I will do this anyway.

Oct 19

Piano Trio in Eb major op.100

My favourite Schubert piece. I’ve been listening to this repeatedly, probably due to the fact that I’m in such a good mood. I just came out to Josh and Mike this week and I was surprised they both took it great… actually I was sort of disappointed with Mike’s reaction (but more on that later).

You’d think that coming out at 25 isn’t such a big deal anymore but for some reason, I had a little trouble saying the G word, “Gooda.” No sorry, I meant gay. It’s like everytime I say it, I sort of cringe… it’s as if gay is the equivalent of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.. (you know.. Lord Voldemort) ::cringes::

Hmmm… “Lord Voldemort.”


Bah, I can’t say his name. Where’s Harry Potter when you need him.

It’s been a while since I came out to somebody and I was getting rusty. I told Josh a couple days ago while we were playing WoW. He was bugging me all day about him finding a gf for me (don’t ask) and I just had to tell him that gf’s aren’t really my thing. Ok I didn’t exactly tell him. It went more along the lines of..

“hey josh, so about that gf thing. just don’t do it”

“why not?”



For some reason after that I just knew he was cool with it. In a way I was also shocked that he was cool with it because I knew he’s a creationist and when the word creationist pops up I immediately think “religious fanatic.” I honestly expected bible verses to come out of his mouth. I’m so stupid. Someone slap me and not in that S&M sort of way.

I came out to Mike today while we were headed back to the office after picking up one of the servers from the colo. I sort of owed it to him since I’ve been working with him for more than a year now. What can I say? I was disappointed with his reaction.

“hey Mike, I.. uhhh.. happen to like guys”

“yeah I know.”


It was like me proving the Riemann hypothesis only to find out that everyone else figured it out already. I was dumbfounded. I planned to give this big speech after telling him I liked guys and instead I just gave him a big “WHHAA?!” It turns out he read my blog a year ago and figured it out from there. The bitch knew and he stole my thunder!! -.-

I’m lucky to be surrounded by such great people. Such a relief too since these are people I work with everyday. I can sort of relax a little bit now.. I don’t have to watch my pronouns.. and just be more open. ::exhales::

Who needs a bf when you have such great friends. (I’ll probably regret saying that… lol)

Oh yeah before I forget… Josh is having a show on Nov. 15 at Cuppy’s so make sure you check it out!

Jul 10

Just saw the pilot on HBO and it’s already one of my favourite shoes (Weeds is up there too!). It’s about these 2 guys that make up a band called Flight of the Conchords. They’re just hilarious. Seriuosly. They’re so dry and monotone when they interact with each other but the story is great and the music is great. Yes they do sing…

Jun 28

I’m back! Though I feel like crap right now… I have a cold, my body is aching, nose is running, head is throbbing, sore throat.. and worst of all, I had to endure a 15 hr trip from Manila to LA while I was sick.