Jul 30

WARNING message

Alas, it my unfortunate duty to report that Limp Richard has been murdered last Thursday afternoon (you can find more about limp richard here). I was the one who found him dead that day. Probably the grossest thing I’ve seen ever! I nearly puked with what I saw.

I managed to take a picture of the crime scene Friday morning before police arrived. Oh the horror!

crime scene

The Suspect? The evil and sadistic Jon of USC. The motive? Jon of USC got bored and decided to sever Limp Richard’s head. The police have released the only known image of Jon of USC. It’s a picture was taken by me, while I was documenting the life of Limp Richard. It was just by pure luck that Jon of USC was in the background.

Jon of USC

Fortunately, through some detective work, I found another picture of Jon of USC (shit.. he’s gonna kill me for this). As you can see, this guy is crazy.

Jon of USC must be stopped. He was no where to be found when police stopped by Friday in his place of work. He is still at large and is currently believed to be hiding in San Diego.

In other news, Limp has been laid to rest. Here are some pictures of the funeral preparations:

His culture dictates that an Aussie Bites cookie must be placed on the severed area.

Aussie Bite

Once the cookie was placed, the severed head was placed on top of the cookie to symbolise some crap superstition I don’t understand.

Mind over body

The body was then buried head first. It is embarassing since you can only see his ass hole from the this point of view.

Ass hole

As you probably noticed, the cookie was not buried with the body. In fact, it was taken right before he was buried and given to the family for them to feast on. Since I was the only “family” member, I had to eat the whole cookie.

Ass hole

UGH! Gross.

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